R1: Nada struggled with enjoy her squash but finally found her love back…

Nada : Okay, let’s start with the match first. Well, it was definitely a tricky first round. I haven’t played first rounds in two or three years. For the past two or three years I’ve been top 16, so this was my first tournament not being top 16, which I didn’t mind. For the past year, I would say, I haven’t been enjoying what I’m doing. There was a lot going on, and squash was just something that brought me so much pressure.

This off-season was also hard on me mentally. I didn’t want to train, I didn’t want to be doing this. And during the first tournament I felt exactly the same. Even though it was my best result, against ElSherbini, if you watched closely you would see I wasn’t interested in the match. I just felt like, “I don’t want to be here, I want to go out.” And I kind of let go. And then it started to work.

So I think that was the switch. Even if she wasn’t playing her best, she’s still ElSherbini. But being 2-0 down and 8-1 down, still managing to win the game and being close in the fourth, even though I wasn’t interested in playing, showed me that I have something. I just have to keep trying and keep going.

Then I went to Brazil. I didn’t have the best result, but I was just excited to play matches and get back into this kind of pressure without treating every result as a big deal. It’s part of the process. My main goal is to be able to play, not freely, but at least with less tension, so that I’m able to perform. At least when I lose, I know I played. It’s not like I’m freezing.

I think today was one of those matches. I knew I had a tricky first round. Holly started the season really well, and she knows squash. We’ve played a lot; she’s the one I’ve played the most on tour. So I knew it was tricky, but at the same time I was kind of chill with myself about whatever the result. That relaxed me a little. I wasn’t in the mentality of “I have to win, I need to win.” I definitely wanted to win, but if I didn’t, I was open about it. It happens. It’s part of the process. After losing the first game I thought, “Okay, let’s go.” That relaxed me a little, and I started to take it step by step. So I’m really happy to be through, and I’m really looking forward to the next match.

About my coach? What can I say about Raneem El Welily….? I’m just lucky to have Raneem and Tameem El Welily in my corner. I remember when I asked Raneem to coach me, I didn’t want to pressure her, because I know she’s such an amazing person. I didn’t want her to say yes just because she felt obliged. So at that time I thought, “What if I also add Tameem? That would be a great team for me. They would understand each other. She doesn’t have to be fully with me, because I have Tameem with me.” Even if she wasn’t fully in with me, even if she didn’t get on court with me, I would have been very happy. Just having her with me is great. There’s nothing to say about Raneem. She’s been there, she has it all, she knows it all.

I don’t think it’s a lack of confidence.

Apart from squash, I’m open about it, I always say it: I’m such an anxious person. I get really pressured and my mind is always thinking about so many things. A lot has happened to me in sport and outside of sport that no one knows about. So there’s a lot going on here, and I think it’s always been like that. Yeah, a lot happening. So I think my problem is focusing on one thing.

Right now I’m talking to you, and I’m focused on you, while usually I’m looking everywhere. I think this is a problem in squash and outside of squash, and I’m trying to solve it in general, to have an easier life.

So I’m just happy to be through, looking forward to tomorrow’s match, and excited.